Eating Disorders Recovery Blog

What really gets my blood boiling is how sneaky Eating Disorders are. I can best describe them as the "Perfect Murder" Take Brittany Murphy and Michael Jackson for instance...both talented individuals in their field of acting and music. The Eating Disorder makes its sneaky "entrance" or what we call in the field "is triggerered" with the demands to stay beatiful and attractive.

After the sneaky murderer is present it corners it's victim with threats of making them fat if they don't do exactly what it says and starve. In the field we call this the "presence" of the Eating Disorder voice.

In an effort to escape from the murderer, the Eating Disorder victim turns to drugs and alcohol to at least give themselves some short escape from the miserable existence they have found themselves in. This escape is what we call "cross addicition" the Eating Disorder victim shuts the ED voice off with other substances. In the process there is still no long term reprieve from the  Eating Disorder so they increase their use of alcohol and drugs.

After time the threshold for this pain becomes so shallow that the Eating Disorder victim takes as much drugs and alcohol that they possibly can that allows them to still survive. This is where the Eating Disorder takes the victim out and kills them. Using an overdose on drugs is the easiest way to kill it's victim because it leaves the Eating Disorder blamelsess. When  the coroner comes and analyzes the body they find the cause of death to be a "heart attack" or a "seizure" but, they never claim that the root was the murdering Eating Disorder because the Eating Disorder is too smart for that. All along it plotted to get its vicitm into this drug addiction, fully knowing that it could get off scotch free for the murder and go off and attack someone else in the same way. Eating Disorders are truly genius, murdering, psychopaths that are the best at what they do.

I came up with this "Perfect Murder" theory after I repeatedly saw celebrities die and hear so many news broadcasters tell the public, "Britney Murphy died of Cardiac Arrest" "Michael Jackson's heart stopped." "It was an overdose" or "It was just a freak accident." Having worked in the field it doesn't take a genius to know that these two individuals suffered from Eating Disorders. Just looking at their weight at the time of their deaths shows that their Body Mass Index was well below even a thin healthy weight. As well as the stories and speculation around each ones body image. Michael Jackson with the constant plasitc surgery and Britney Murphy with rapid weight loss show evidence that each one was unhappy with their appearance.

I write this article today just to simply get the truth out and stop all the "Hush, Hush." Eating Disorders thrive on secrets. The more we expose this merciless murderer the closer we are to catching him!

Love,

Irvina

Labels: Anorexia is deadly, Anorexic Britney Murphy, Anorexic Michael Jackson, Bulimia treatment, Celebrities with Eating Disorders, Compulsive Overeating Treatment, Eating Disorder Treatment

Eating Disorders are not a disease of vanity, self absorbtion or an aversion to food, they are a disease of the mind. For a person without an Eating Disorder addiction it is normal to have some feelings of insecurity when "Keeping up with Jones'" It's the human condition to look around and ask, "Where do I measure up?" "Where can I improve?" But, for a woman or man with an Eating Disorder the question isn't "Where do I measure up?" It's "Am I the BEST?" If we are not the BEST, we honestly, hate ourselves and we cope with putting the focus and attention on our bodies.

Research has proven that women with Anorexia Nervosa have IQ scores between 120 and 140 (Thats pretty stinkin' high) Obviously it is in the genetic disposition of these clients to be naturally high achievers. The goal in Eating Disorder treatment is to take that drive for perfection and channel it into a healthy avenue that looks like a "Perfectly Imperfect Life." Now, to you, maybe you're a parent or a concerned loved one you think, "Well duh. Life isn't perfect. That sounds simple. I'll teach my girl that myself." If that's your stance then I have two words for you: "Good Luck." I have worked in the Eating Disorder field for about 2 years now and I have experienced an ED myself. If there is something I know about "us" it's that this relinquishing of perfection and constant comparing takes a lifetime of recovery work.

At the Victorian we talk about being the best "Phoebe, Chloe, Liz and Irvina you can be." Doing our personal best each day and being patient with ourselves. More times than not this new way of thinking sounds repulsive to clients, I remember one client insisting, "NO! I have to be the BEST! I won't settle for the best me! I want to be THE BEST!" As she broke down in sobs.

As a woman in recovery, the thing that I have to remember about being the "BEST" is that because I have a voice in my head called "ED" my best will never be good enough. Once I accomplish straight A's, I'll be told "Anyone can do that. Wheres your 7 figure job?" Once I have the job I'll be told, "Everyone can make money. Wheres your husband?" Then I'll have him and I'll be told, "He's not much....she has a better husband...you should get a new one." The comparing, the achieving, the having never lets up with an ED. Thats why it takes a lifetime of recovery, meetings, a support group of friends who understand and periodic therapy.

I think that because Eating Disorders are so taboo in the media and not many people know that they are indeed an addiction, it seems as if a woman should just learn to "eat again and move on with her life." Hmmm...the women I know who have done that have come back after 8 years asking for help again because they thought the bulimia and starvation was gone. This disease is stuck in between the crevices and the corners of our brain. It's always waiting to pounce on us and take us down and kill us, like drugs and alcohol. That is the nature of the disease to kill us. I'm not trying to sound dark and dramatic, I guess I'm just trying to relate how something as simple as the act of comparing my body to your body can send me into a tail spin. That if I let myself look at how awesome your job and boyfriend are and then look at my single self I might come up short and then want to starve over my feelings of insecurity. So whats the solution? 1.) Meetings: Where I can say, "Hey I think I suck cause she looks cute in that dress. Is that normal?" 2.) A new way of thinking: Remembering that I am on my path and you are on yours. Sometimes I'll be in a sunnier spot and sometimes you will be, but it's my job to focus on my path, not yours.

I pray that whoever you are who is reading this blog that you learn to not compare yourself to others. That you appreciate yourself and explore your uniqueness and gifts and utilize them to the best of YOUR ability.

Much love,

Irvina

Labels: Anorexia is deadly, Bulimia, California Rehab, Compulsive Overeating, Eating Disorder Help, Eating disorder recovery

When someone has cancer they perform surgery to try and remove 100% of the growth or do chemo and radiology until the patient is “Cancer –Free”. The time that the patient is cancer free is called “remission”. However, all cancer patients have been told that the growth could come back at any time; it’s kind of the luck of the draw. Eating Disorders are very much like cancer in the way that someone with an Eating Disorder can go inpatient, have extensive therapy and eat healthy balanced meals for 365 days straight, but at any time the Eating Disorder behaviors could flare up and relapse could happen. Eating Disorder Behaviors can take over the body out of nowhere, just like cancer.



The only way that it has been proven to keep women abstaining from their Eating Disorder behaviors is through weekly support groups like Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous and ANAD. Just like a cancer patient who would weekly try to exercise, eat right and remove stress from their life an Eating Disordered woman in recovery has to not only exercise, eat right and remove stress, but she also must…


· Work with a Sponsor to keep her accountable


· Maintain a support group of women that she trusts and is close to, to lean on for guidance when she struggles with food or the stress of life.


· Be of service to a women who has less recovery than her so she can cultivate an attitude of empathy and altruism


· Attend weekly recovery meetings so she can share her stress and struggles


· Periodically visit a therapist to keep her honest with herself and focused on recovery


In my time in recovery and working in the Eating Disorder field I have met quite a few clients, parents and spouses who think that 90 days of intensive Eating Disorder in-patient treatment should do the trick. That all it takes is for their daughter or wife to just “learn how to eat” or “get that dark cloud away from her” and then she’ll be fine. I wish I could share with those loving family members how many women I see return to the rooms of Overeaters Anonymous and Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous after they had 5 or 10 years of recovery and just stopped participating in their recovery. They thought they could do it on their own and that they didn’t need to attend meeting or work with a sponsor to keep their behaviors in check. They were “cured.” Many, many, many women return to the rooms of OA and ABA in tears saying, “I thought it was gone.” “I thought I was cured.” “Why is it back?”


In all honesty, I was not a fan of the idea that I would need to make my recovery my top priority for the rest of my life. I said, “I don’t want some Sponsor telling me what to do and I have enough supportive friends, thank you very much.” But after a year of stomping my feet against the process I found that the people with the healthiest lives, with the smiles on their faces who actually liked themselves were the people who were dedicated to daily recovery.


Today, I know that my Eating Disorder if very much like cancer if not worse. I say that not to put cancer patients down in anyway, but just that I think in society if a cancer patient says, “My cancer came back” Most people think “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry.” Where when someone with an Eating Disorder relapses people tend to think, “Well what did YOU do wrong.” I know that there is a whole world out there of diets, detoxes, ads of under weight models; skinny celebrities and accepted eating disordered behaviors. I know that if I don’t keep my mind focused on recovery I can very easily be sucked back into a disease that will invade my whole body like cancer.


Recovery is a ton of work, but it is worth it to be Eating Disorder free and when we are Eating Disorder free we can help another woman struggling to join us as well.


Happy Recovery and Healing,


Irvina

Labels: Anorexia, Anorexia is deadly, Bulimia, cancer, Eating Disorder Help, Eating Disorder Rehab, Eating Disorder Treatment