Eating Disorders Recovery Blog

I am so honored to share the following Recovery Testimonial by Victorian Alumni, Christina Duncan Collins. Christina left the Victorian House about a month ago. Having worked with her during her recovery makes this story so valuable to me. To hear Christina talk about what her life used to be like and what it's like now can only be summed up as miraculous and magical.



instead of getting to my classes. The overwhelming degradation that never ceased to
exist, seemed to always land me in another secret, another lie, another trip to the liquor
store; the shame coincided with the deep depression Iʼd foregone addressing over the
years, and somewhere along the line Iʼd seemed to have accepted that there was no
longer a way out of the deep seeded hole of this eating disorder that I didnʼt even acknowledge
anymore; my pained existence had become a form of warped normalcy.

Before I came to treatment, I recall feeling helpless, pathetic, depressed, guilty, ashamed,
humiliated, desolate, vacant, numb, and I am most certain that the light in my eyes had
been gone for quite some time.

Iʼd reached the end of the line, my lowest of lows; it didnʼt seem that my life could have
gone to shit any more than if someone was trying to singlehandedly destroy it; I had already
done that with no one else to blame but myself. In variant forms of self sabotage,
Iʼd wreaked havoc so thoroughly into my life and my own sense of being, that Iʼd become
far too sick--body, mind, and spirit--to come out of this repulsively base, melancholy
tenebrosity; I was blind, sick, weak, and I knew I needed help. I never wanted to
die, though Iʼd come close several times, hospital wristbands kept as reminders; I luckily
always managed to hold on to that little bit of hope we all look to in times of need.

As my substance abuse issues had functioned primarily as tools for my eating disordered
way of life, I found the black and white nature of sobriety much easier to handle; it
was almost a relief to be sleeping restlessly or not at all for that first month, anything not
to feel continuously anymore like I was dying before nodding off. The eating disorder, on
the other hand, had become a masochistic means of coping that, despite all reason,
had given me a sense of safety, what I learnedly turned to at the young age of six, as
my eating went from odd to restrictive to fucking abnormal; by the age of seven, eating
was no longer a necessity, but rather an outlet for me to manifest my need of power,
control, beauty, love, and validation that was never received as a child.

I came to treatment, went straight to detox for the night, had purged all day even when
itʼd come down to stomach acids & bile, and decided my day 1 of recovery would begin
as soon as I arrived at The Victorian. I think I had initially expected to be staying in a
place where I wouldnʼt be able to act on any of my eating disorder behaviors, that staff
would magically know when I threw up or when I was lying; in other words, I thought Iʼd
been sent to a place where I wouldnʼt have to be working wholeheartedly for my recovery,
that the staff would be crutches to hold me up. I was acting out in my eating disorder
for the first month of treatment, with the mindset that I was helping myself the way I
“needed” and kept the majority of it a secret, only divulging brief nuances of strife; truth
be told, I was struggling so immensely, that I could share maybe a quarter of my contention
and sound like I was telling the full truth, little bits being so thoroughly entwined in
ugly details and misery.

After finally coming to the realization of choice, that Iʼd chosen to get the help I needed
and was still keeping secrets in the belief that I knew what was best--which had overtly
failed in past trials--that I was still very sick and if I didnʼt let it be known the garishness
of my disease, Iʼd leave 90 days later with the same issues to settle; I was choosing to
let my chance of recovery from my eating disorder dissipate and diminish day after day.
I made a vow to tell the whole truth, when I wanted to purge, when I was struggling to
eat, when I was obsessing about exercise and calories, when I wanted to sneak into the
kitchen to binge & purge, when Iʼd given in to the repulsive voices in my head & sneak
off to the bathroom to throw up. I remember new girls arriving at The Victorian a month
or more after me, picking up chips of abstinence, and feeling embarrassed for having
been in treatment for twice as long and not being able to say the same if not more about
my progress.

Just after Christmas and into the new year, I was struggling immensely; after gaining
just over 10 days of abstinence, the longest Iʼd had in nine years, I relapsed, and there
were days I claimed myself sick, sleeping through days and only seeing the light of day
to smoke a cigarette. The word “choice” stuck out to me yet again; essentially, my recovery
was dependent on the choices I decided for myself, and just because I was in
treatment didnʼt mean Iʼd come out cured, healthy, happy, or even abstinent; I knew I
didnʼt want my disease, and the program showed me that I no longer had to suffer, mulling
the bane of my diseaseʼs existence, so I made a second vow to get on my feet again
and continue the work despite all contrary thoughts in knowing my health had yet to be
regained.

 However, the next day was treatment team, and staff had assessed that I
needed to be moved to a higher level of care to get some time not purging, to be
watched around the clock. I understood each concern, but remained distraught in that
Iʼd finally been getting real and honest with myself; my determination to overcome the
past obstacles and following hurdles led me to take a stand for myself, and I signed yet
another behavioral contract to resume my treatment at The Victorian, not going down
without a fight of course. I stayed true to what Iʼd signed, knowing wholeheartedly from
the start that I would in fact prove everyone wrong; my head and my heart were finally
on the same page.

It took me a long while to realize that I was at The Victorian so they could teach me how
to walk again; essentially, it wasnʼt going to help me if everyone was just trying to hold
me up to keep me from falling down; I needed to be re-taught, re-trained, and that light
in me had to be rejuvenated. I learned that Iʼm not automatically a burden, I can ask for
help when I need it, that my voice is amazing, and paramountly that I am beautiful. The
tools I acquired in treatment allowed me to take back my life, and really begin living it
again. I still live by my Socratian oath to “always question authority,” but I know to no
longer bend it to extremes of overriding my own principles and values that Iʼd seemingly
discarded of long ago.

Exactly 153 days after my intake date at The Victorian of Newport Beach, I can definitely
say that light is back, and what a long strange trip itʼs been. Not to say every day isnʼt a
struggle, because it certainly is, but the difference is the rejuvenation Iʼve gained
throughout my entire treatment process--mind, body, and spirit--thatʼs given me the
freedom in my life that I felt so far from before. Itʼs been countless years since Iʼve been
able to feel, sit with my feelings, be present, equate my life to opportunities and happiness
rather than doom, and simply feel like myself again.

Labels: Anorexia, Bulimia, Compulsive Overeating, Eating Disorder Help, Eating Disorder Rehab, Eating Disorder Treatment

This Sunday night we will be hosting
Mia Eadington, MA MFT
Topic: Eating Disorders and our Relationships with our Significant Others
The Victorian
505 29th Street
Newport Beach, CA 92661
7pm to 8pm

Please see Mia's site for more info on her practice:
http://www.lifeisagamelc.com/

People with Eating Disorders often have problems in relationships. Whether it be too little boundaries, too many or just the inability to connect. Mia will be discussing all topics in the spectrum. Come and join us for this open discussion. I never leave a Victorian Meeting not feeling fresh and rejuvenated.

Have a great weekend!

Irvina

Labels: Anorexia, Bulimia, Bulimia treatment, Compulsive Overeating, Eating Disorder Rehab, Eating Disorder Therapy

Happy Friday All! I just wanted to let everyone know that there is a fabulous and FREE Eating Disorder Resource Group in Newport Beach. It is for anyone that may suspect that someone they love may have an eating disorder. It is facilitated by therapist, specialist and dieticians once a month. I would reccomend it to anyone who wants to learn more about Eating Disorders, how to go about getting help or even just networking withing the field. Some very gifted individuals attend this group. If you would like to attend see the info below. Have a great weekend! - Irvina

Labels: Anorexia, Bulimia, compulsive overeating help, Eating Disorder Rehab, Eating Disorder Therapy, Eating Disorder Treatment

A wider understanding of Eating Disorders has sky rocketed in recent years. Much of the credit goes to organizations like http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/ They sponsor advertisements in magazines for recovery, they offer support for Eating Disorder suffererers and their parents AND they host the National Eating Disoarder Awareness week each Spring! Heck Yeah!

 This year all 50 of the United States and over 20 different countries came together and hosted speaking panels from Eating Disorder survivors, Fundraisers for treatment, Awareness booths on college campuses and Candle Light Vigils for those we have lost from this disease. Check out the pictures from the site by clicking here. It is truly inspiring to see people rallying together to work for change for all women! xoxo Irvina

Labels: Anorexia rehab, Bulimia treatment, compulsive overeating help, Eating Disorder Blog, Eating disorder recovery, Eating Disorder Rehab, Eating Disorder Treatment

“Have you no self control?” People suffering from Eating Disorders have heard this question literally a thousand times from a concerned parent, spouse or friend. Often times it is said after a binge on a box of cookies, a carton of ice cream or a box of donuts. The sad truth is “No. We don’t have self control.” Like Alcoholism an Eating Disorder is a disease of the mind and Impulse Control Disorder goes hand in hand with Anorexia, Bulimia and Compulsive Overeating. An Impulse Control Disorder is defined as: A psychological disorders characterized by the repeated inability to refrain from performing a particular action that is harmful either to oneself or others.
Causes of Impulse Control disorder are thought to come from 4 possible areas.

1.) Traumatic Brain Injury – Particularly true when the damage has been done to the frontal cortex area. (Jentsch & Taylor, 1999.)

2.) Substance Abuse – Research shows that those who abuse multiple substances show more impulsive behavior than those who abuse single substances. (O’Boyle & Baratt, 1993).

3.) Major Mental Disorders - Often associated with impulsivity while the individual is in a psychotic state. This is particularly true of Bipolar Disorder where the impulsive behavior is most often associated with the manic phase.

4.) Personality Disorders - Primarily borderline, anti-social, narcissistic, and histrionic. Impulsivity in the form of risk-tasking behaviors, sexual promiscuity, gestures and threats of self-harm and other attention-seeking behaviors.

“So what is the treatment for someone with Impulse Control Disorder AND an Eating Disorder?” I’m so glad you asked! … At The Victorian the program is structured to battle Eating Disorders from 3 angles. Mental, Physical and Spiritual. Here is how we do it.

1.) MENTAL - Therapy – We teach our clients the life long tool of how to be their own therapist. Our therapist don’t preach they challenge the clients ….“Ask yourself, what am I feeling right now before I do this impulsive act? Now, play it through…what am I going to do, how am I going to do it and how will I feel afterward?” Through therapy we give clients tools to take care of themselves and eventually heal.

2.) PHYSICAL - Medication – Within the first few days of arrival at The Victorian an appointment is set up with a trusted and outstanding Psychiatrist who assesses the client and prescribes medication if needed.

3.) SPIRITUAL - Supportive Living Environment – When it comes to Eating Disorders and Impulse Control Disorder, recovery is a life long process. It starts with the individual being held accountable for their actions by staff. At The Victorian we don’t lock the cupboards or kitchen and we allow clients to prepare their own food with staff present. The only job of the client is to be honest, to ask for support when their impulses feel out of control and to speak up when their ED (Eating Disorder) is chattering eating disordered thoughts to them. Together staff and client can battle this disease together.

I hope this answered some of your questions about Impulse Control Disorder and Eating Disorders! Have a great weekend and Happy Recovery! Xoxo Irvina

Labels: Anorexia, Bulimia, Depression, Eating Disorder, Eating Disorder Rehab, Eating Disorder Treatment, Impulse control, OCD, Self Control

Valentines Day is coming…. And though the moans and sighs of Victorian clients fill the house, there is some wisdom amongst the women without a partner to share the lovers holiday with. I have seen the women rally around each other and finding the positive side of being in Eating Disorder treatment over the holiday. Many note that being in treatment will make them a better wife, girlfriend and mother in the long run. Treatment allows them the opportunity to love deeper and better.

As I hear the women talk I am reminded of an old adage, “Before you can love anyone else, you must first love yourself.” The first time I heard this was when I was about 17. These words sounded like a foreign language to me. I envisioned myself on a football field, all suited up and ready to play, but before I could even step on the field the referee stopped me before I ever touched the sidelines with the prerequisite, “You must love yourself first, BEFORE you can step on the field and play.” Up until that point I had always believed that love was an open game for anyone to play, that is anyone who had the “courage” to play.

Since the first time I have heard this saying about loving yourself first, I have learned that courage definitely is necessary to love, but the courage must be rooted in a deep love to love yourself through thick and thin. The best way I can paint this picture is with a high school. All high school teenagers go through a phase of insecurity, self doubt and confusion. While they are trying to figure out where they belong amongst cheerleaders and the artsy crew, they cling to their close friends for reassurance and praise that they do in deed have a place to belong. I’m sure all of us remember “cliques” in high school. Not loving yourself first is like being a hormonal teenager in a clique. You cling to a group or best friend to validate you, define you and give you purpose. Eventually though we all learn that our best friends are flawed too. That just because they are in our clique doesn’t make them infalliable. This realization that our clique isn't perfect sends us into a tail spin, that we aren't safe in the world any longer.

The truth is when you love yourself you can step out of a clique and say, “Wow, I’m not as loud as a cheerleader. I’m not as deep as the drama kids. I’m not as charismatic as the ASB president. In honesty, I’m a talented individual who can make great tea pots with clay, I’m an average student, but I’m a kind person and I’m a great friend and I draw well with pastels. And now that I see that I am not perfect I can also see that other people aren’t perfect. I can see where I have a temper, insecurity and fear and I still love myself for that. I don’t need anyone’s validation that I am smart or pretty enough, because I know that I am just fine where I am. When we get to this spot of accepting ourselves and not clinging to anything or anyone to keep us safe we can freely and openly love people. We can see our partners for their weaknesses and flaws and say, I know you’re not perfect and I know I’m not perfect, but I still love you and I still love me.

In all honesty I think it’s actually harder to love yourself than to love another person. Because at the end of the day we know our flaws. We know where we are ignorant, rude and inconsiderate. The hard thing is to be able to look at ourselves honestly and say, “I know you’re not perfect and I still LOVE you.” When we can do that for ourselves we can honestly and sincerely grow close to other people. We can see where they are not perfect and instead of being disappointed or critical of them we can instead relate to that imperfection and in turn say, “I know you’re not perfect, but I still LOVE you.”

Happy Valentines to all! May you love much and well this year and may you most importantly, LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!
 
xoxo,
Irvina

Labels: Anorexia, Bulimia, Compulsive Overeating, Eating Disorder Help, Eating disorder recovery, Eating Disorder Rehab, Eating Disorder Treatment

Happy New Year everyone! I am writing to you today from India! Just another one of the "mobile" blessings of blogging. I have been here for the past two weeks and have been profoundly moved by the Indian women here in Tenali, a small region of India here in Andarha Pradesh. I came here on a mission trip with a group of people to serve the Harvest India orphans,  elderly, leapors and women rescued from sex trafficking. Considering that the empowerment of women is of great importance to me I asked quite a few questions about the women rescued from sex trafficking. I knew that this kind of traumatic experience would lead a woman to self harming behaviors like eating disorders. I asked around if these women were exhibiting eating disorder behaviors? The answer was an undoubted, "Yes". My next question was "Well, do they have therapist or support groups in the area?" The answer was a solemn, "No".

It has been explained to me that in the culture of India women are considered to be "worthless". As a whole the culture does not believe that women deserve dignity and respect, therefore when it comes down to trying to do therapy or counseling with these women the message doesn't translate into this culture. The way they see it, "If I am worthless why should I talk about my feelings? What purpose does it serve to say I deserve respect if I demand it and no one gives it?"

Thankfully there is research being done on how to translate this message of "self worth" to these women rescued out of sex trafficking. But, until this goal is accomplished, until these women understand that what has been done to them is undeserved I feel the darkness of this reality in a painful way. I guess I just remember getting therapy for my own Eating Disorder and thinking how foreign the concept was that I "deserved" to nourish my body. It makes me sick to think that the women I saw with beautiful smiles wearing colorful saree's and clutching small children won't grasp that concept for a very long time.

On the flip side, I have a tremendous amount of gratitude on the subject. If it wasn't for the compassion of women in recovery from Eating Disorders, violence, rape or sex trafficking who would care to help these women? I have always found it moving that without women willing to get recovery there would be no group of Overeaters Anonymous or Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous. It is with each woman who goes into Eating Disorder Recovery that we give the gift of recovery to another woman. The world is a place of great tragedy and great beauty. I know that this year I am going to try my best to be apart of the beauty, the recovery and the healing, I hope you all do too. Happy New Year 2010!

Love,

Irvina

Labels: Anorexia, Bulimia, Compulsive Overeating, Eating Disorder Help, Eating Disorder Rehab

When I was active in my Eating Disorder the word "medium" was just about as bad as calling me F-A-T. Crazy, I know. But, for me I was only okay if I wore a "small" shirt or was able to soothe myself with seeing a "LARGE" A+ on an essay….I lived to hear people say, "you are the smallest girl I’ve ever seen" or you are the "BIGGEST help I've ever had." To me, medium stood for mediocre, good, but not great, nice, but definitely not the best. The voice of my Eating Disorder always told me, “If you can’t win, then don’t play.” That thinking works for a while, but for me I found as time went on it became impossible to be the smallest and LARGEST at everything. It started to hurt my relationships. When I saw another girl getting praised for her small body I would hate her for taking my spot. When someone else was given praise for their generosity at church or creativity at work I became jealous and distant from them.


Nevertheless I found that my quest to be the small or be the BEST at something didn’t come from a genuine place of me using say my writing skills, my compassion or my love for children…my quest to be small and the best was simply an avenue for me to quiet the voice of my Eating Disorder, because I thought, “When I am small enough and the BIGGEST success that voice that tells me I’m a piece of crap will finally go away.”

I started to see just how neurotic the voice of my ED was after a conversation I had with my friend Jessica who does not have an Eating Disorder. She asked me why I looked so sad and I told her, “I’m worried about my writing. I’m worried that I spend so much time everyday trying to perfect my craft and what if I never publish one of my books? What if I don’t ever make it on the New York Times Best Seller List? What if I never sell my work?” With a puzzled expression Jessica asked me, “Why are you trying to be the best? I mean I love to paint. I’ll paint until the day I die. I don’t care if my art never gets hung at the Louvre or if children don’t read about me in 100 years. I paint because I love it. I know you love writing, why don’t you just do it and stop worrying about other people reading it and just enjoy your art?” I was shocked by her words, “Just do it for the sake of doing it? Not be the best? Is she crazy? I HAVE TO BE THE BEST!”

But as time has gone on, as life in recovery has settled in I have discovered that I am actually a lot happier when I am not striving so hard to be the best or the smallest. I am more authentic in my writing, I’m not starving trying to be so tiny and I am not spread thin among projects trying to be Super Woman. I may not get as many compliments or all the praise that I was used to, but I guess I don’t need as much because I give it to myself, I don’t look for it from others.

Learning to live life like a “medium” is difficult. You have to give things a lot more thought, like, “Is it really healthy to stay up until 3am writing?” “Do I really need to knit 50 scarves for my friends and family for Christmas?” “Do I really need to only eat a latte for lunch?” I’ll admit it is uncomfortable at times to be a medium. American society focuses on the best and the shiniest. I may not always be the center of the focus and the praise, but I know that I don’t need to be in the center to matter and feel loved.

Love ya'all!
Irvina

Labels: Anorexia, Bulimia, Compulsive Overeating, Eating Disorder Help, Eating Disorder Rehab, Eating Disorder Therapist Newport Beach, Eating Disorders

When someone has cancer they perform surgery to try and remove 100% of the growth or do chemo and radiology until the patient is “Cancer –Free”. The time that the patient is cancer free is called “remission”. However, all cancer patients have been told that the growth could come back at any time; it’s kind of the luck of the draw. Eating Disorders are very much like cancer in the way that someone with an Eating Disorder can go inpatient, have extensive therapy and eat healthy balanced meals for 365 days straight, but at any time the Eating Disorder behaviors could flare up and relapse could happen. Eating Disorder Behaviors can take over the body out of nowhere, just like cancer.



The only way that it has been proven to keep women abstaining from their Eating Disorder behaviors is through weekly support groups like Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous and ANAD. Just like a cancer patient who would weekly try to exercise, eat right and remove stress from their life an Eating Disordered woman in recovery has to not only exercise, eat right and remove stress, but she also must…


· Work with a Sponsor to keep her accountable


· Maintain a support group of women that she trusts and is close to, to lean on for guidance when she struggles with food or the stress of life.


· Be of service to a women who has less recovery than her so she can cultivate an attitude of empathy and altruism


· Attend weekly recovery meetings so she can share her stress and struggles


· Periodically visit a therapist to keep her honest with herself and focused on recovery


In my time in recovery and working in the Eating Disorder field I have met quite a few clients, parents and spouses who think that 90 days of intensive Eating Disorder in-patient treatment should do the trick. That all it takes is for their daughter or wife to just “learn how to eat” or “get that dark cloud away from her” and then she’ll be fine. I wish I could share with those loving family members how many women I see return to the rooms of Overeaters Anonymous and Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous after they had 5 or 10 years of recovery and just stopped participating in their recovery. They thought they could do it on their own and that they didn’t need to attend meeting or work with a sponsor to keep their behaviors in check. They were “cured.” Many, many, many women return to the rooms of OA and ABA in tears saying, “I thought it was gone.” “I thought I was cured.” “Why is it back?”


In all honesty, I was not a fan of the idea that I would need to make my recovery my top priority for the rest of my life. I said, “I don’t want some Sponsor telling me what to do and I have enough supportive friends, thank you very much.” But after a year of stomping my feet against the process I found that the people with the healthiest lives, with the smiles on their faces who actually liked themselves were the people who were dedicated to daily recovery.


Today, I know that my Eating Disorder if very much like cancer if not worse. I say that not to put cancer patients down in anyway, but just that I think in society if a cancer patient says, “My cancer came back” Most people think “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry.” Where when someone with an Eating Disorder relapses people tend to think, “Well what did YOU do wrong.” I know that there is a whole world out there of diets, detoxes, ads of under weight models; skinny celebrities and accepted eating disordered behaviors. I know that if I don’t keep my mind focused on recovery I can very easily be sucked back into a disease that will invade my whole body like cancer.


Recovery is a ton of work, but it is worth it to be Eating Disorder free and when we are Eating Disorder free we can help another woman struggling to join us as well.


Happy Recovery and Healing,


Irvina

Labels: Anorexia, Anorexia is deadly, Bulimia, cancer, Eating Disorder Help, Eating Disorder Rehab, Eating Disorder Treatment

At The Vic every woman gets a packet of assignments she is supposed to complete before exiting treatment. One of the assignments is a Goodbye Letter to ED. (If you haven't caught on yet "ED" is a nick name for an Eating Disorder. It's easier to identify ED as a person because of the loud voice it has in our head.) Anyways, this is one of my FAVORITE letters to ED that I have ever read. One of our clients wrote it and with her permission she has okayed me to publish it here (she actually wanted me to put her name with it! Hows that for PROUD recovery?) Here it is...

Dear Liar,
I must write you this letter so that you completely understand what I intend to do about our relationship.You have been an important part of my life from the very start, and you were the best tool i had to keep me from understanding the pain i felt deep inside. You've been with me through thick and thin, deep and shallow water. You helped me get where I am today, and for that I am eternally grateful. Without you none of this may have happened. Who knows what could have happened? Only God knows, and thats precisely why she gave you to me, to be where I am now, getting rid of you. To me you were a message, a challenge, and a life lesson. This is why I must be sincere, clear, and completely thorough. You have been a curse, and somewhat of a blessing. What you did to me was so physically and emotionally damaging. I felt like you wanted me to die a slow and painful death, I felt like you wanted to make me the scum of the earth, a miserable woman without a heart or a soul. Thank you for showing me this. You've shown me how deep and broken your sadistic world is, you whispered lie after lie until suddenly my entire world was fabricated. You raped me and abused me, made me dance on the strings tied to your finger tips. You were always so angry. That rage in you created a rage in me. A fury that I will never ever forget. You were all I ever knew for so long, but i've asked god to help me deal with you now. She gave you to me so that I could see the infinite and amazing power I hold. Know that I know God, she is helping me remove you from my thoughts, my actions, and my life.

I cannot trust you anymore, only god. I've decided there is a new way for me to live happy, joyous, and free, and that is surrendering my will to God, your will, and everything else that is beyond my control. Liar, you are no longer invited into my thoughts, or welcome into my life. You do not control me anymore. I refuse to believe any of your grandeous ideas, they are all lies. You cannot hurt me anymore. I've found someone else. Someone much bigger, and much more powerful than you. Someone who fills me up with love instead of hate. I'm sorry liar, but there just isnt room for you anymore, we're through. thank you for showing me pain, because without that i wouldnt know how to love.

Love,

An Awesome, Amazing Victorian Client

Aint she a rockstar?

Strength in Recovery,

Love, Irvina

Labels: Alumni, Anorexia, Binging, Body Dysmorphia, Bulimia, California Rehab, Compulsive Overeating, Eating Disorder Rehab, Eating Disorders, Newport Beach Eating Disorder, Purging, Treatment, Womens rehab