Alumni, Anorexia, Body Dysmorphia, Bulimia

Actress Demi Lovatto speaks about her eating disorder

Lately it seems as if celebrity eating disorder press releases have been coming out by the dozens. Here is a list of just a few who have confirmed that they have struggled with disordered eating:

·         Ashley Simpson

·         Calista Flockhart

·         Candace Cameron Bure

·         Demi Lovatto

·         Diane Keaton

·         Elton John

·         Jamie-Lynn Sigler 

·         Jane Fonda

·         Jessica Alba

·         Mary Kate Olsen

·         Nicole Richie

·         Paula Abdul

·         Portia De Rossi

·         Tracey Gold

·         Victoria Beckham 

Some might assume that the most fatal mental disease has become the latest Hollywood publicist marketing strategy. Whether or not celebrities are exposing their struggle for profit or recovery there are some very positive things we can learn from their courage to come forward and share.

Awareness - One thing I’m really impressed with is how so many of these starlet’s have stated that they wanted others to know that they are not alone and to get help themselves. Today, over 1/3 of American women struggle with disordered eating in the forms of anorexia, bulimia and compulsive overeating. Talking about this still taboo topic brings awareness to those currently in an eating disorder, just simply saying the disease “eating disorder” can vastly help the public have more awareness and  recognize the disease before it progresses or turns into death.

Boldness – Personally, I share my recovery story on a very public format. Through speaking engagements, workshops, press and blogging. I can confirm that it isn’t always easy to admit on a public forum that I have struggled with body image, confidence and concerns about my looks. There are times that it provokes anxiety in me. But, then I am confronted with the fact that “if I don’t come forward who else will? Who else will help others find recovery?” It’s this question that helps me be bold and share my story. I believe celebrity’s are using their platform of fans and media attention to be bold with their story to help others in recovery. For that, I am completely grateful to them.

Owning It – There is a point in recovery we all come to that either progresses us ahead or keeps us stagnant and that is the dilemma of owning it. I have yet to meet a person who struggles with an eating disorder who is excited to vocalize the pressure they feel to keep in perfect physical appearance and that this disease took over their lives. However, there is something powerful in simply admitting on a daily basis that this is our struggle and for better or for worse we are working on our recovery. It’s in this act of owning it that our own recovery escalates and we are able to not only grow ourselves, but help others grown in their recovery as well.

I’m incredibly impressed and thankful for the many celebrity’s who have come forward to share their recovery story. I hope to see many more in 2012 and in turn see recovery happen for so many others.

Happy Recovery!

Irvina 

Do you know the story behind Airborne? It was created by an elementary school teacher. The teacher was tired of constantly catching colds from her students so she created a small disc the size of a quarter filled with Vitamin C and other vitamins that fizzled in water and was drinkable within seconds. It ended up preventing colds! Airborne was such a hit that the teacher ended up quitting her job to run the company. The funny thing is she would have never have come up with Airborne had she not been in the school environment where the common cold runs rampant. Having been a teacher myself I can attest to the misery of “First year Dues in teaching” where the teacher gets handed the coughs and colds of students. Colds are prevalent in schools due to students whose bodies are still growing the necessary immune system to fight the colds. They pass them back and forth to each other in this microcosm. It seems as if eating disorders in Israel operate in much of the same way. The Jewish culture there has many aspects to it that actually promotes eating disorders. Much like the students and teachers the Israeli people pass it from one generation to the next.

Currently, Israel has one of the highest eating disorder rates in the world. One study of ultra-Orthodox and Syrian Jewish communities in Brooklyn and found that 1 out of 19 girls was diagnosed with an eating disorder – a rate about 50 percent higher than the general U.S. population. Why is this? It is believed to be a combination of culture, perfectionism and family dynamics.

For starters Judaism has deep roots in food centered rituals around religion, family and culture. Families bond and traditions are held over holidays like Yom Kippur and Shabbat dinners. Indulging in food is encouraged and celebrated. However, many marriages in Israel are still arranged. Potential brides (and their mothers) are expected to be flawless in education, intellect, body and features. Requests for the girl’s transcripts, weight and mother’s weight (projecting what the potential bride might look like in the future) are requested by suitors prior to any courting period. The pressure for these numbers and stats to be perfect can be daunting on a young girl. Her family can be seen pressuring her to indeed not eat and drive herself to succeed in school in order to secure an elite marriage.

Having so many opportunities for fasting, rules around mixing dairy with meat, the lack of port and eating kosher makes an eating disorder hard to detect among Israeli girls. In Israeli women have been challenged by the dogmatic view of beauty narrowing toward Western features. A girl being told she “looks Jewish” for her predominant features in her nose and dark curly hair is often seen as a misfortune.

Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair, a clinical instructor in Harvard Medical School’s department of psychiatry did research on eating disorders in Israel identified a cluster of personality traits associated with eating disorders: sensitive, intelligent, eager to please, low risk taker, anxious, high drive for achievement.

Adair asks “How many Jewish people do you know who fit that bill?” she asks rhetorically. “A lot. Whether that’s nature or nurture, we don’t know. This is not just about a bunch of spoiled girls skipping lunch or throwing up in the bathroom. Eating disorders are a coping mechanism.”

Are Jews more prone to eating disorders because of their genetic code for success? The writer thinks, perhaps. Having grown up with a Jewish father I know that as a Jew there is not only pressure to be a person of broad intelligence, but to use that intelligence to change the world and be the best at what you choose to do. I can definitely see how this pressure coupled with the pressure of arranged marriage and the pressure around food can create the perfect storm for an eating disorder to sneak in on a Jewish teen.

However, there is always hope. Israel’s parliament endorsed a bill that aimed to keep underweight models out of commercials, prohibit modeling agencies and photographers from employing them, and ban the media and advertising agencies from airbrushing models to extremes. Israel is preventing eating disorders by trying to change how the people in their country classify as beauty. The people in Israel may be prone to eating disorders, but there is always HOPE. All of us can do something to help. By that way, what are you doing to prevent eating disorders today?

In the past decade eating disorders in Japan have been on the rise. The notice started between 1988 and 1992, when the number of identified cases of anorexia and bulimia increased by four times.  (Nadaoka et al. 1996). Though the behaviors of eating disorders in the East and the West are similar including starving, binging and purging the causes for the behaviors are quite different. Western causes are typically rooted in the tension resulting from the striving for achievement and career. To be a successful woman in the West is to be noted as a powerful, thin and beautiful. However, in the East a successful woman is one who is a manicured, doting, wife and mother. The pressure to fit into this cookie cutter mold of a wife and mother is the predicted root of eating disorders in Japan.

As a nation Japan has historically valued the work of wives and mothers to be the primary nurtures of children and to maintain the domestic needs of a house hold. Making marriage and mother hood the primary avenue for women’s economic stability and social participation.

Researchers believe that in the West women “fear fatness” because being fat jeopardizes their ability to succeed. Where women in the east don’t fear being fat, they “fear a loss of control” of themselves. Because they are expected to take on a roll of a mother or wife, when they are presumably not ready for the responsibility, they try to regress to be small and child like. This is where the eating disorder steps in.

It is also believed that the eating disorder is triggered by Japan’s approach to the transition from girl hood to woman hood. The approach being there isn’t one. Japan is known for its idyllic graphic images of characters created in comic strip anime and toys from Hello Kitty. All infantile and innocent creatures that are lovable heroines. Take these images consumed by a teenage Japanese girl and parallel them with her mandatory home-ec classes in high school where they are taught the appropriate etiquette on being a good wife including, cleaning, cooking, decorating, sewing and raising children.

The issue Japanese women are wrestling with seems to be the time to grow between their “innocence” (and dependency) and into their role in marriage eventually coupled with motherhood. The problem is that we know from psychology that when a person has not self –actualized and instead take on the roles that they believe as expected of them they walk through life angry, self-destructive and prone to depression and eating disorders.

So what is the solution? Some might think feminisim. I would say not. I believe the solution is for the Japanese culture to be a tad more laid back on the way women are presented with their "role" of being a wife and mother. Maybe if there was less pressure to fulfill these roles women would 1.) Appreciate them more when they do so choose to fulfill them 2.) Women might go out an explore who they are outside of who they are expected to be.

My personal belief is that no two people are alike and that's an awesome thing. Women need to be encouraged to explore, create and find the people they were put on earth to be. I would encourage women to find themselves during their adolesence and 20's and return home with what they have discovered and be embraced.

To sum up the differences between the West and the East, Western eating disorders form out of the concept associated with thinness providing power and control that will, in turn, convey happiness. The Japanese pursuit of thinness is more reminiscent of eating disorders as a strategy for delaying maturation and responsibilities.  

If you enjoyed this post today from The Victorian Eating Disorder Recovery Blog I ask that you share it with your friends and family. The more education we provide to people on what eating disorders are, how they manifest and what they look like we will make this topic less taboo and prevent this disease from taking down another generation of women.  

A special thanks to Kathleen M. Pike and Amy Borovoy of Princeton University for their studies on eating disorders in Japan. Their thesis was referenced for this article. As well, a big thank you to The Victorian of Newport Beach for sponsoring this blog and providing recovery 365 days of the year.

Happy Recovery,

Irvina

Christmas is only 12 days away. That means the parental units, spouses and children will be flying into John Wayne Airport shortly to see our beloved Victorian clients. Undoubtedly we will not make it to December 25^th without at least 2 women walking into the office in hysterical tears over a family member who said some form of the following:

“You’re looking healthy!”
”You’ve gained weight!”

“Your boobs look bigger!” 

“Wow! You must be eating all your meals! You look good!”

or for others it’s:

“Wow! You’ve lost what 15 pounds?”

“Honey I can see your cheek bones now! How wonderful!”

“Oh my gosh what are you a size….”

Now obviously as staff we are happy to see families taking notice of clients physical recovery from their Eating Disorder.  One would assume that a client who has participated in 1 to 6 months of in-patient care would like to hear that others are taking notice of their progress. However what families notice as progress is noted to Eating Disorder clients as failure. For one, Eating Disorder clients are attached to their size. Whether small or large they have sculpted their identity in their size and feel threatened when someone notices it has changed. They feel a loss of control, insecurity and fear from the change. They worry what expectations you may have from them due to the change.

However, it’s my belief that the underlying issue for the clients is that your comments on their body triggers the ED Voice that tells them “All you have to offer to people is your body.” As counselors, dieticians, doctors, nurses, support staff and therapist we make a point to never, ever comment on a client’s body. We believe that each and every woman who comes through The Victorian is not simply a woman with an Eating Disorder and a traumatic past. She is a unique soul on a journey trying to discover who she is. When we see her uniqueness shine through in either creativity, personal relationships or strength we try to celebrate that. We make a point to notice the uniqueness of every woman, not her size.

I encourage all of you visiting family members to take note of your loved ones uniqueness during your visit. Compliment her kindness, her wit, her intelligence and her strength. Think before you comment on her physical or emotional appearance (and simply DON’T comment on the physical.) Eating Disorder clients are notorious for being incredibly sensitive. I thank you for being patient and thoughtful with your words, if used wisely they truly can be healing and serve a much greater good.

Dear any woman with an Eating Disorder,

If you only knew what I know now, you would prevent this nightmare from getting any worse. My name is *Kelsey Conrad, and I am an alumni of the Victorian House, a rehab for Eating Disorders in Newport Beach, California. I was in-patient there for about 6 months.. yes, SIX months..hard to believe for me, even still. I was admitted because my bulimia, anorexia, and compulsive overeating got out of control, and I struggled greatly with maintaining "abstinence" from food on a daily basis. It became a habitual cycle to be engaging in behaviors like: binging, purging, restricting food, taking laxatives, diet pills, and over-exercising. I found myself lost in my negative thought process, and realized I wasn't going anywhere I wanted to go in life, nor did i believe I was capable of doing so. After a few more years of turmoil and hopelessness, I found myself in the office at the Victorian, signing my life away for the next thirty days.

In a sense it was liberating to know that I was finally going to be taken care of, and these people are here to help me activate my life, and find my true self. The staff at the Victorian are very loving people. They are willing to do what it takes to make you reach your goal.

During this process, there were a lot of things that I had to sacrifice in order to be healthy again, and it was very hard sometimes to accept reality, and what is the most logical thing to do for my best interest. I found that keeping very busy with assignments, appointments, and activities was helpful in accelerating my recovery process. At The Victorian, there was never a dull moment. I enjoyed the meetings for the most part, but having the beach so close by wasn't too bad either. The therapist sessions were incredibly eye-opening, I was amazed at the little life lessons I learned while surrendering my disease to someone I knew could understand me. Mediation and yoga were probably my most favorite activities, not to mention all the tension I was relieved of during massage therapy. Holidays were amazing. During my stay at the Vic I missed: my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New years, Valentines day, and Saint Patrick’s Day.

At first I only thought I was staying for 30 days, but my condition was still not completely relieved until five months later. It was very hard at times, because I missed my life, my friends, my family, my job, my car and my cell phone. But I knew that the only way I was ever going to be able to stay abstinent and sober was to surrender my will and take direction. I can honestly say that The Victorian saved my life. I'm eternally grateful for the friends I've made along the way, who will still take my phone call and help me to get out of self, for the knowledge I gained on how to live my life happy, free, and sane, and for the tools I need to sustain my true value for the rest of my life.

If I can say anything to you, its please get the help you deserve, and stick with it for as long as you can. It's amazing how much self-awareness and power you gain from working a program that is a proven method for improving your life, and loving your life. Keep coming back.

Love,

*Kelsey

*Name has been changed to protect the privacy of the alumni.  

We read a great article about Miss America visiting Arizona and spreading her good message. Here is the article on abc15.com. 

She has been to our facility before several times spreading her message and working toward the benefit of women who struggle with disordered eating.

As you can see in the below video, she had some nice things to say about our facility: 

Victorian House for Eating Disorder Recovery

My name is Irvina and I am an Anorexic, Bulimic, Compulsive Overeater and support staff at The Victorian House in Newport Beach, California. The Victorian House is a rehab for women with Eating Disorders and Chemical addictions.

If I could describe the "The Vic" in one word it would be "Integrity."

If you were to visit the house you wouldn't find locks on the refrigerator doors or a security guard at the front gate preventing people from leaving, like you see in other rehabs. You would find a house filled with people willing to support women in their recovery. No one MUST finish their meal, MUST attend a meeting or MUST work the 12 steps. We let our clients make choices, they reap the rewards and or consequences. We are open, direct and loving when we see behaviors that do not match up with integrity, but we always stand firm that we are a source of support, but the healing can only be done by the client. Healing from an eating disorder is an inside job. No rehab, therapist, anti-depressant or money can buy you healing, but a person WILLING to heal can find recovery and many, many have.

The Victorian houses six women at a time and walks with them on their journey of recovery. Some stay for as short as 30 days and others stay as long as 9 months. As well, we have a step down facility called "The Lido Track" that allows women to do life but still utilize the support needed.

This blog will be a source of recovery for Victorian Alumni, potential Victorian clients and any other women in recovery or seeking recovery from her eating disorder. We will discuss all topics eating disorder related, from body dysmorphia to cross addictions and self-care. We hope this blog will be a source of healing and understanding about yourself and your disease. I am looking forward to blogging here! I love to write so you'll be hearing a mouthful from me. There will also be other doctors, therapists, dieticians, staff and alumni writing on this blog. It will be a ecclectic group all focused on recovery. Check back soon for a new post.

Happy Recovery,
Irvina

"Recovery is a Choice"