eating disorder curse

This week the Clinical Director of The Victorian, Dr. Michele Lob sent me a poem written by one of the current clients living at The Victorian, an Eating Disorder Rehab in Newport Beach. She said the client would like the opportunity to share her poem with others who might be currently in the clutches of "ED". The following poem is her reality, painful and graphic. For me the most poignant thing about this poem is knowing the girl who wrote it....if you met her you would see a gorgeous, smart, witty, funny, creative, intelligent and caring girl. Besides her svelte appearance one would never have an inkling of the nightmare that lives inside her mind, like many women with Eating Disorders she masks it well. I wonder how many more women there are out there masking their pain? I wonder how many women you know? - Irvina

EDs Curse

ED's Curse
By: Victorian Client, March 2010




So, you want to be skinny?


Well, you risk running into me.


My initials are E.D.


Everything is fine you see.


You tell yourself: "I just want to look like the girls on T.V"


You will start by cutting out food here and there.


One day the hunger, you won't be able to bear.


You will eat your kitchen away and what luck.....


you can throw your food up.


You make up excuses as to why you have gotten deathly thin.


You start to tell yourself I'll never throw up again.


But the second you feel pain, misery, and sorrow,


You through up again to feel empty and hollow.


I'm now your crutch, your release!


Do you think your mind will be at peace?


Well, not with me in your head,


My self-loathing thoughts will make you wish you were dead.


You're tired of throwing up stomach acid and blood,


You're tired of fainting everytime you get up,


Your teeth are rotting and you bones are thin and weak


You search for a hand to help you out of this mess


Until then, it's E.D. who has control of your stress!!!