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Oct 29, 2012

The Warning Signs of Self-Harm Addiction

by mhurst220 — last modified Oct 29, 2012 04:50 PM

The Victorian admits clients with eating disorders as well as co-occurring disorders; alcoholism, bipolar disorder, border line personality disorder, drug addiction, kleptomania and self-harming behaviors. Today, we discuss the warning signs of self-harm that is a predominant co-occurring disorder found among many eating disorder sufferers.

Fairy Drop via Etsy.com
Fairy Drop via Etsy.com

An eating disorder; whether it be anorexia, bulimia or compulsive overeating is a control disorder and a form of self-harming. Typical eating disorder patterns and self-injury patterns carry similar traits:

· Perfectionist personalities

· History of trauma

· Physical, emotional or sexual abuse

· Family issues

· Feelings of self-loathing

· Low self-worth

Both self-injury and eating disorders are ways for people to cope with the uncomfortable feelings of anger, shame, sadness, loneliness and guilt. They are also ways for these individuals to punish themselves and express self-hatred for their bodies.

For many, self-injury and eating disorders coexist. For others, self-injury develops as a way to replace an eating disorder. For example if the person overcomes an eating disorder but doesn’t learn how to properly cope with emotions, they may seek relief through other ways such as cutting and self-mutilation.

WARNING SIGNS

· Cuts/burns on the wrists, arms, legs, back, hips, or stomach

· Wearing baggy, loose clothes repeatedly  

· Makes excuses for having cuts, marks or wounds on the body

· Finding razors, scissors, lighters or knives in strange places (i.e., a purse, the bathroom.)

· Spending long periods locked in a bedroom or bathroom

· Isolation and avoiding social situations

RECOVERY

Similar to an individual being suicidal, self-harm is a cry for help.  People who self-harm may feel that there is no other outlet to express their emotional pain and cope with distress. People who self-harm don’t do it to seek attention; they actually do it to escape the struggles of their daily life.  If you know someone who is engaging in self-injurious behavior reach out to him or her.  Let him/her know you care through getting them the help they need. 

You can call The Victorian – eating disorder treatment today for a list of treatment packages at:

(888) 268-9182

Sep 07, 2012

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO WORK IN THE EATING DISORDER RECOVERY FIELD (PART 2)

by mhurst220 — last modified Sep 07, 2012 02:09 PM

Many of our blog, Twitter and Facebook friends are constantly asking us “What does it take to work at the Victorian – Eating Disorder Treatment?” Last week we covered the rewarding and challenging aspects of a career in the eating disorder field. This week we are looking at the roles of each position and the schooling needed for each to be on an eating disorder treatment team.

Karen Kay via Etsy.com
Karen Kay via Etsy.com

Due to popular demand, today we are looking at the positions on an eating disorder treatment team and the necessary certificates and schooling that go with each. Last week we covered the rewarding and challenging aspects of working in the field. If you haven’t already read that post check it out HERE. If you have, then you already understand the emotional toll it takes to work in the recovery field. Now, we will cover the different roles:   

 

SUPPORT STAFF – The role of Support Staff is to support clients in their day to day living skills. The following goes into the position:

  • Observe the preparation of meals
  • Eat meals with clients, processing emotions and thoughts during meals
  • Work with clients during moments of anxiety and frustration
  • Assist in conflict resolution between clients
  • Attend recovery meetings with clients
  • Remind clients of chores, obligations and appointments  
  • Dispense medication
  • Drive client to appointments and meetings
  • Attend treatment team meetings

Education:

  • B.A.  in Psychology
  • California Association of Alcohol and Drug Addiction Counselors, Certificate
  • Eating Disorder Treatment Certificate

Shifts:

  • Days:  7 am to 3 pm
  • Evenings:  3 pm to 11 pm
  • Overnight: 11pm to 7am

 

ART THERAPIST – An Art Therapist uses art as a tool to do therapy with a group of clients.  The following goes into the position:

  • Create art lesson plans for clients
  • Encourage clients to express themselves creatively
  • Talk with clients about their created art and what it reveals about their recovery
  • Track progress of clients
  • Work with clients during moments of anxiety and frustration
  • Assist in conflict resolution between clients
  • Attend treatment team meetings
  • Shopping for art materials

Education:

  • B.A. in Psychology
  • M.A. in Marriage and Family Therapy
  • Art Therapy certification  

*These are the most common requirements, but vary by treatment facility.

Shifts:

  • Days:  9am to 6 pm


YOGA TEACHER – A yoga teacher visits the treatment facility and teaches yoga to a group clients.  The following goes into the position:

  • Creating yoga lesson plans
  • Assuring clients are safe during class
  • Adjusting clients posture and poses during classes

Education:

  • Certified yoga teachers training
  • Knowledge of eating disorders and addictions

Shifts:

  • 1 to 2 hour classes

*Vary by treatment facility

 

NUTRITIONIST – A Nutritionist works with each client to reach her nutritional goals.  The following goes into the position:

  • Assess the clients nutrition and exercise needs
  • Create a meal plan for clients
  • Create an exercise plan for clients
  • Work with the treatment team to create grocery lists and menus for the house
  • Work with clients during moments of anxiety and frustration
  • Observe the preparation of meals
  • Eat meals with clients
  •  Remind clients of goals
  • Attend treatment team meetings

Education:

  • Registered dietitian

Shifts:

  • Days:  9am to 6 pm
  • Some evenings to assist at dinner outings and meals with clients

 

CASE MANAGER – A Case Manager over sees the client’s entire treatment plan from admit to discharge. The Case Manager is a liaison between the client and parents, spouses, therapists, doctors, nurses and schools. .  The following goes into the position:

  • Determine clients recovery goals (i.e. return to school, career, family)
  • Create a weekly schedule with clients
  • Assist client with finding a volunteer opportunity and/or job
  • Assist client with returning to school
  • Work with clients during moments of anxiety and frustration
  • Follow up with clients family with  recovery progress
  • Remind clients of goals
  • Attend treatment team meetings

Education:

  • B.A.  in Psychology
  • California Association of Alcohol and Drug Addiction Counselors, Certificate
  • Eating Disorder Treatment Certificate

Shifts:

  • Days:  9am to 6 pm
 

THERAPIST - A therapist works with a client to reveal the underlying themes and behaviors that have triggered disordered eating.  Then they work on how to cognitively change these harmful themes and behaviors. The following goes into the position:

  • Determine clients family themes
  • Determine clients triggers
  • Determine clients possible co-occurring disorders
  • Assist client with finding their true self
  • Assist clients in distinguishing between the ED voice and their true voice
  • Work with clients during moments of anxiety and frustration
  • Remind clients of goals
  • Attend treatment team meetings

Education:

  • M.A. in Marriage, Family and Child Therapy  and/or
  • Doctorate in Psychology
  • California Association of Alcohol and Drug Addiction Counselors, Certificate

Shifts:

  • Days:  9am to 6 pm
  • On call 24 hours via cell phone for emergency’s


CLINICAL DIRECTOR– A Clinical Director over sees the clinical treatment being done by the facility staff. The following goes into the position:

  • Creating and implementing treatment methods for the facility
  • Meeting one on one with clients and tracking their progress
  • Leading treatment therapy groups
  • Facilitating groups and lectures for clients and families
  • Work with clients during moments of anxiety and frustration
  • Remind clients of goals
  • Attend treatment team meetings

Education:

  • M.A. Social Work and/or
  • M.A. Psychology and/or
  • Doctorate in Psychology

Shifts:

  • Days:  9am to 6 pm
  • On call 24 hours via cell phone for emergency’s


PROGRAM DIRECTOR - A Program Director over sees the entire treatment staff and works directly with the Clinical Director to ensure that the treatment methods are being implemented throughout the program.  The following goes into the position:

  • Hiring of staff and interns
  • Training staff
  • Overseeing interns
  • Managing facility budget
  • Ensuring staff is implementing the proper treatment methods with the clients
  • Meeting one on one with clients and parents
  • Leading groups
  • Work with clients during moments of anxiety and frustration
  • Attend treatment team meetings

Education:

  • M.A. Social Work and/or
  • M.A. Psychology and/or
  • Doctorate in Psychology

Shifts:

  • Days:  9am to 6 pm
  • On call 24 hours via cell phone for emergency’s

 

Hopefully you now have a better idea of what it looks like to have a career in the eating disorder treatment field. It is an equally challenging and rewarding field to work in!

Did we answer all of your questions?
 
Are you still interested in pursuing a career in the eating disorder recovery field?
 
Join the Conversation in the comment section below!

Aug 01, 2012

Using Jewelry To Inspire Recovery

by mhurst220 — last modified Aug 01, 2012 05:44 PM

Sarah Munsey has struggled with self-harm addiction for years. Now, she is using her experience to use her hands to “create instead of destroy.” Munsey is spreading awareness, giving to non-profits and making incredible jewelry with an inspiring message!

Sarah Munsey, Founder of Wired For Freedom
Sarah Munsey, Wired For Freedom

Eating disorders are considered a self-harming behavior. Whether a person is under eating, overeating or purging these acts are life threatening. Many of the Victorian – Eating Disorder Treatment clients also physically cut, burn, pick at their flesh. Sarah Munsey is one young woman who has struggled with self-harm. Today, she is “using Her hands to create instead of destroy” through a jewelry line she has started, Wired For Freedom.  

Munsey says,“ Wired for Freedom allows me to use my hands to create instead of destroy. No one wants to be trapped behind their struggle, but many are. I stand here today and tell you that we ALL are wired for freedom, and I hope you too find yours.”

Using her hands is a huge part of Munsey’s own recovery. She talks about the difficulty in creating jewelry, “I start sketching on paper (which usually looks horrible, I can’t draw for anything).  I draw different options and once I’m satisfied with the design on paper, I bring it to life using practice wire. This is where trial and error takes place, and also where God taught me a HUGE lesson in recovery. Being a perfectionist, messing up used to cripple me. But God showed me how to turn mess ups into a new collection, Beautiful Mess. Just like in life, our mistakes can turn into something beautiful later.”

Munsey sells her jewelry on Etsy.com and also allows others to host house parties and sell her jewelry there. A portion of the proceeds from the house parties goes to charity. Munsey is very proud to be spreading her recovery story through a creative medium she loves and hopes others will be inspired to do the same. You can check out the Wired For Freedom jewelry line HERE:

Wired For Freedom
Wired For Freedom

How do you “create instead of destroy?”
Do you have any ideas for sharing your recovery with others?
Join The Conversation Below!

Jul 02, 2012

How Bulimia is like Drug Addiction

by mhurst220 — last modified Jul 02, 2012 05:41 PM

The idea of an eating disorder being classified like an addiction to drugs shocks some people. Today we explain specifically why bulimia is called an addiction.

Via etsy.com
Via etsy.com

The craving to purge his someone suffering from bulimia the same way you may feel when you badly need to urinate. If you can imagine a time when the discomfort of having to relieve yourself was so consuming you couldn’t think of anything else, this is similar if not worse. Resisting the urge to purge when you have an eating disorder is like resisting an urge to use drugs for a drug addict. It can feel intensely painful despite knowing that such resistance would ultimately be better down the road. New research analyzes the similarities between bulimia and drug addiction.

 

The research done by Tufts Medical School and published in the Journal of Clinical Psychopharmocology, highlights many similarities in the behavioral experience of bulimia and drug addiction. For example, both food and drug  are experienced as cravings that often become associated with certain places or situations (and the brain may become wired to associate cravings with certain emotions). People experience positive shift in moods when eating and using drugs which provides this behavior to continue. They also describe feeling a loss of control in the moments before or during binging/purging and using.

The authors explain how tolerance usually associated with drug addiction can also be seen in bulimia. As compared to when they first developed bulimia, people describe needing to eat larger quantities of food later on to get the same emotional/physical effect. The researchers speculate that there may also be a similar neurological pattern of withdrawal in bulimia and drug addiction. In fact, many people with bulimia report signs of drug withdrawal when they try to abstain from binge eating including increased anxiety, disturbed sleep, and strong cravings.

Given all these behavioral similarities, it seems likely that there are biological similarities between bulimia and drug addiction. Indeed, a new study held at Columbia University that will be published next month suggests that people with bulimia have similar dopamine abnormalities in their brain as people suffering from cocaine and alcohol addiction. A few other studies have looked at how the brain reacts to cravings - similar parts of the brain were activated in people with bulimia and drug addiction as they craved food and drugs, respectively. 

It’s no surprise that many people with bulimia have also suffered from drug addiction. Considering bulimia as a form of “food addiction” may help others better understand how paralyzing the illness can feel.

Have you or someone you know struggled with bulimia and alcohol addiction?
 
We’re you able to see how the cravings were similar?
 
Join the conversation below!

 

 

 

Mar 20, 2012

New Eating Disorder Discovered : Neophobia

by mhurst220 — last modified Mar 20, 2012 01:40 PM

If you think eating disorders are simply anorexia, bulimia and compulsive overeating you’re mistaken. Learn about a new eating disorders on the rise: Neophobia - Picky eaters.

Birds Eye Photography via Etsy.com
Birds Eye Photography via Etsy.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As a leading eating disorder treatment facility, the Victorian prides itself in being at the front lines of the latest eating disorder research and treatments. The more we understand about eating disorders and the several ways they manifest, the better we can treat our clients. Eating disorders are not simply Anorexia, Bulimia and Compulsive Overeating, sometimes they manifest into Exercise Bulimia where a client exercises for hours at a time to purge calories. Another new discovery is Pregorexia where a woman develops Anorexia while being pregnant. She goes on to withhold food from herself and her unborn child. These conditions are new and still being researched, but we have built relationships with specialists who can assist our client. The latest eating disorder discovery is Neophobia, a disordered in which a person is overly selective of their food due to being picky of foods texture and smell. This selectivity limits their diet to only a few foods, limiting nutrients and calories dramatically.

This may sound similar to the picky eating of some young children who resist sauces, spice and certain textures. Although Neophobia has not yet been officially recognized as a mental disorder, the American Psychiatric Association is considering its inclusion in the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the official compendium of emotional and mental disorders.


Researchers at the University of Pittsburgh and Duke University are studying the problem of extreme picking eating, Nancy Zucker of Duke University first became aware of the disorder when adult picky eaters came to Duke's Center for Eating Disorders seeking help. According to Zucker, this is a real disorder. "People who are picky aren't doing this to be stubborn." Adults with selective eating disorder experience food differently from other people. Instead of avoiding one or two foods, they have such a limited list of acceptable food that their eating interferes with functioning in daily life. This is indicative of a mental disorder, such that it plays out in harming friendships, families and careers. Most people with this eating disorder are very embarrassed by their behavior in relation to food and do everything they can to keep it hidden. In addition to the embarrassment caused by this disorder, doctors are concerned that a limited diet of foods that are low in nutrition can lead to long-term nutritional deficiencies and health problems that can include heart and bone problems similar to the reprecussions of anorexia and bulimia.


One  theory for the causes of Selective Eating Disorder (SED)is that it may be linked to an extreme sensitivity to the smell or texture of food that is often associated with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or autism.

Bob Krause, 63, of Virginia runs an online support group called PickyEatingAdults.com. Started in 2003, the site has more than 10,000 members that include picky eaters as well as concerned loved ones of the picky eaters.  Krause limits his own diet to milk, toast, crackers, popcorn, peanuts, French fries, grilled cheese sandwiches and plain milk chocolate bars.  Since childhood, Krause has avoided visiting friends at mealtime to avoid being offered food that he has an aversion to. Krause attributes the failure of two marriages to his eating disorder and says that if he could snap his fingers and change, he would. The loss of relationships is often a repercussion of eating disorders.


Nancy Zucker and other scientists at Duke University are developing treatment plans that include slowly introducing people with selective eating disorders to new foods. Treatment also focuses on helping picky eaters overcome their embarrassment about their food preferences and not letting their disorder interfere with personal and business relationships. 

 

Jan 09, 2012

Pregnant Women with Eating Disorders – Support Group

by mhurst220 — last modified Jan 09, 2012 01:25 PM

The experience of being pregnant is joyful and challenging for many women. At times it is more triggering for women who struggle with eating disorders. What support can a woman with an eating disorder find to protect herself and her child if she becomes pregnant?

Maggie Bauman, MA, MFT

A few years ago The Victorian, Eating Disorder Treatment had the pleasure of working with one exceptionally talented counseling intern, Maggie Baumann. The Victorian clients adored Baumann for her authenticity, insight and strength both in individual counseling and leading group sessions. Years later Baumann has gone on to establish her own counseling practice treating those with eating disorders, dual addictions and trauma therapy. She is also in the process of getting trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) trauma therapy. As well, she has brought light to the eating disorder Pregorexia; the eating disorder which causes a pregnant mother to limit the calories she is giving to herself and her unborn child.

The overwhelming response from those suffering from Pregorexia has led Bauman’s establish a Free Eating Disorder Support Group for women with Pregorexia in Southern California.

www.etsy.com/shop/BeadedFrog
MOMS with EATING DISORDERS & PREGNANT WOMEN with EATING DISORDERS

Beginning: February 9, 2012

Groups meets weekly: Thursdays • 6:30-7:30 pm

Location: 180 Newport Center Dr., Ste. 270, Newport Beach, CA

Facilitator: Maggie Baumann, MFT

RSVP or for more info: call (949) 439-2607 

or email at Maggie-Baumann@cox.net

 

Topic of discussion focuses on the impact of eating disorders on pregnant women (and their babies in the womb) and how moms with eating disorders who already have children work towards eating disorder recovery and achieving healthy family relationships.

If you have more questions please feel free to reach out to Maggie Bauman directly. 


Maggie Baumann, MA, MFT
180 Newport Center Dr., Ste. 270
Newport Beach, CA 92660
Tel: (949) 439.2607
www.MaggieBaumann.com

 

Happy Recovery,


Irvina

Sep 05, 2011

NEW! Eating Disorder Recovery meetings in Orange County

by victorian — last modified Sep 05, 2011 11:05 AM

With multiple eating disorder recovery meetings a day, Orange County is renown for it’s thriving eating disorder recovery community. Today we add even MORE meetings to the growing list of support. Check out the latest and greatest meetings that fit your busy schedule of recovery!

Eating Disorder Recovery Meetings

The below meetings are the latest and greatest eating disorder recovery meetings in Orange County. We have attended them all and can vouch they are awesome! Check them out!

 

 

Monday – 7 PM to 8 PM

@ The Victorian – 509 29th Street, Newport Beach, CA 92663

This meeting focuses on Anorexics and Bulimic recovery. A speaker shares her experience, strength and hope for 15 minutes and then the meeting is open for response and sharing.

Contact Elyse R. for more info: (714) 316 - 3073

 

Tuesday – 5:30 PM to 6:30 PM

 @ The Grange - 2144 Thurin Ave Costa Mesa, CA 92627

This meeting is open to everyone struggling with food. A step or tradition from the The 12 Steps & 12 Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous is read and then the meeting is open for response and sharing.

Contact CT T. for more info: (949) 294-1496

 

Thursday – 7 AM  to 8 AM

@ The Costa Mesa Alano Club- 2040 Placentia Avenue, Costa Mesa, CA 92627

Open to everyone struggling with food issues. This one hour meeting includes 5 minutes of meditation and then the meeting is open for sharing .

Contact Sarah L. for more info: (310) 388-7716

 

Saturday – 9 AM to 10 AM

@ The Costa Mesa Alano Club – 2040 Placentia Avenue, Costa Mesa, CA 92627

This meeting is open to everyone struggling with food. A reading from the book, For Today of Overeaters Anonymous is read and then the meeting is open for response and sharing.

Contact CT T. for more info: (949) 294-1496

These meetings truly are where the eating disorder recovery is at! I hope to see you all there soon!

Happy Recovery!

Irvina 

Aug 03, 2011

The Victorian sponsors non-profit, Rewrite Beautiful Art Show

by victorian — last modified Aug 03, 2011 04:40 PM

The Victorian of Newport Beach sponsored the non-profit, Rewrite Beautiful’s 1st Annual Art Show to prevent eating disorders and spread awareness.

TELEIOS

 

TELEIOS 1

The Victorian of Newport Beach is proud to be a leader in eating disorder treatment. The best counselors, therapist, art therapist, dietitians and support staff have put The Victorian on the map for outstanding treatment and recovery. Now, The Victorian is leading the way in eating disorder prevention. Last Saturday night The Victorian was a proud sponsor of the Rewrite Beautiful 1st Annual Art Show TELEIOS. The Art Show was a fundraiser for the non-profit to continue their Street Art Workshops that change how girls see beauty in themselves and prevent eating disorders. All of the art work for the show was created with the Rewrite Beautiful vision in mind, “Beauty in women is found in ACTIONS of Creativity, Kindness and Strength.” Check out some of the art from the evening:

Artist: Felicidad de Lucas
Artist: Elana Cherin
Artist: Cory Hill
Artist: Sunny Siu
Artist: Sunny Siu

Artist: Sunny Siu

Gallery attendants were invited to 'Rewrite Beautiful' for themselves.... Check out some of their work....

CHANGE
change 1

A Poet Nomad Ali, Correy Adam's Rabble Family Band and Moonsville Collective put some awesome tunes through the gallery....

 

Correy Adam's Rabble Family Band

 

Rewrite Beautiful will be coming to The Victorian and Sober Living by the Sea in early September to do a Street Art Workshop with our women. Check back soon for pictures from the workshop. 

We hope it inspires you to know that there are artists, musicians, women, men, children and strangers off the street who are passionate about preventing eating disorders. You have a ton of people rooting for your recovery. We hope you join us at The Victorian get recovery for yourself and pass that recovery on and prevent eating disorders from happening to someone else.

 

Happy Recovery,

 

Irvina 

Jan 11, 2011

Gray Swan?

by blogger — last modified Jan 11, 2011 09:24 AM

There has been a ton of talk about Black Swan in the Eating Disorder community. The movie doesn't address Eating Disorders directly, but definitely alludes to them. This isn't a movie review ; It is a 'life review' on Black Swan, starring Natalie Portman. Like an Eating Disorder, Black Swan is bottled terror that explodes leaving you with a lot of pain and questions.

Black Swan

The growth process is a tricky, icky, sticky one. I’ve been around for 20 some odd years now and I’m still towel drying off gobs of growth.  A few years ago I met a little boy who had a severe form of Autism. His condition bothered me so much that I did some research on it. I found that Autism is predominantly found in boys over girls. One of the theories is that at conception the fetus is female for 8 weeks, then the Y chromosome develops distinguishing the fetus as a male. The transformation process is so dramatic that birth defects occur during this stage. This particular theory believes that autism takes root during this transformation.  

 

I thought about this theory as I watched Black Swan, starring Natalie Portman. Portman plays an innocent, sheltered, ballerina with one passion: attaining perfection in her art form. The movie follows Portman as she strives for perfection in her craft and also parallels the imperfection of her human character that reveals itself as she cheats, lies, steals and purges in order to get to the top of her game. Quite the dichotomy eh?

 

My friends weren’t fans of this movie. I thought the hot and heavy lesbian scenes would at least have made my male counterpart put a 9 on the scoreboard, but even his reaction was, “I’m sorry I suggested we see this and by the way chicks are still crazy.” Personally, I thought it was brilliant. Mostly because it reminded me of myself. [Cue eye rolls.]

 

I found it captivating because it felt like watching one of the deep, dark secrets of humanity be revealed to a wide eyed teenager. The secret being, not one of us is pure and perfect. Not one. Call me crazy (most people do) but I don’t remember anyone ever telling me this as a child. I remember the world being painted as a grand place with possibility and I was a princess that reigned in it. I remember being encouraged to maintain the perfection of the world. Certain phrases encouraged me:

“Practice make’s perfect”

“The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.”

“You can do anything you put your mind to.”

“You are the best and you deserve the best.”

 

But, I don’t remember anyone ever sitting me down and telling me.

“There will be a day that you’re so frustrated that you’ll cheat.”

“There will be a time when you want something so bad you’ll steal it.”

“There will be a day that you are so angry you’ll hit someone.”

“There will be a time you will be so disappointed in someone that you’ll gossip.” 

"There will be a day that you'll feel so ugly that you will starve."  

 

 

I pretty much figured that stuff out on my own. Well, I was told that lying, cheating, hitting and stealing were bad and not to do them. But, I don’t remember anyone ever telling me that just as much as I am good, I am equally bad and that’s a normal part of being human. It seems to me that as a society we believe it makes more sense to push our youth toward excellence and perfection than educate them on the dark side of humanity. I think that this leaves the entire human race ignorant because we start to hate ourselves for the dark parts of ourselves instead of learning from them.

 

So what does one do when the dark side starts to show? Like Portman, we try to ignore it so we dance and we dance exceptionally well. To humor you, we’ll just pretend that the crazy ballerina and I are the only people in the world who have ever danced the tango of a double life. Since you haven’t I’ll tell you one thing about it, as the cute British boys say, “It’s bloody hard.” The stark contrast between being pure, white and on the pedestal of perfection and the chaos of hunting, stealing and killing while trying not to get caught is mind rattling. Sometimes the dance between two worlds is so thrilling and fast that one forgets they are dancing at all. But, there is one thing we all know about every performance. Eventually the artist must stop and take a bow. Hopefully that artist can accept the applause with dignity of a job well done. Some (like me) turn around and say, “What did I do? Who are you? And where the hell am I?”

 

For many years of my life I danced this tango between party-harty-rock and roll and good girl who goes on mission trips with church. I quite arrogantly thought that I had everyone fooled until the dancing of the these two performances collided and left me with only pieces of each one left. Isn’t that what transformation is though? You take what you have; both good and bad, the black and the white and you make something new with them - you make something gray.

 

I have spent the last few years of my life trying to paint my life with gray. What I have discovered though is in spite of our affection for heather gray v-necks from American Apparel, our society does not like “gray”. We live in a culture of excellence and it doesn’t have the patience to watch a transformation and it certainly is not pleased with imperfection. If you say you’re going to do something, you better do it and you better do it well or dammit I’ll find someone else to dance, employ, date, make my coffee or walk my dog.

 

While painting the gray swan in me has realized that the applause from the audience only lasts for a few moments. Afterward some will send you flowers and some will tell you, “Beautiful girl, your form – sucks.” I could spend hours improving my form and living off the applause of others or I could accept that I am gray. I could accept that I am awkward, weird, confusing, but also funny, smart and pretty brave, I could applaud myself for that and call it a night. I have learned that being able to accept yourself with all of the slime that goes with it, is a painful transformation, but it can be even more thrilling than perfection. To be gray is to live with freedom.

 

Mar 30, 2010

Staying in the Now with an Eating Disorder

by victorian — last modified Mar 30, 2010 03:51 PM

The terms, staying in the “NOW” being “Present” and life is in the “ moment” all seem to be the latest psycho-babble trends.

However, in the field of Eating Disorder treatment these roads of thought are often the place therapist and support staff direct clients.

 

Just this past week The Victorian Recovery Rocks – Alumni Group had, Lindsay Elliot PsYD, MFT come and be a guest speaker at our Sunday night meeting here at the Victorian House. Dr.Elliot chose to speak to the women about staying present and how that affects their recovery. She started by point blank asking the woman, “Who doesn’t want to be here?” Three raised their hands, Dr.Elliott then spoke to each one and asked them, “What would you rather be doing?” she then went on to ask them, “How does wanting to be somewhere else affect what you are doing now?” The point of this exercise was to have those women observe their thoughts of feelings.
Staying in the NOW with ED
Staying in the NOW with ED

 

 

People with Eating Disorders don’t live in the present. They can appear to have in depth conversations, tell jokes and seem engaged while simultaneously counting calories, obsessing about the way they look and planning their next binge. This obsession of thinking about “5 pounds from now” takes them away from the “NOW” and unable to form authentic relationships. Most detrimental is they are unable to be in tuned with the relationship they have with themselves.

 

This detachment from their feelings makes it easier to engage in harmful eating disorder behaviors

because they have no thought connection to the binging and starving. They think, I want to be thin…don’t eat…exercise…don’t eat…exercise…” They never get the opportunity to pause and say, “Hey what is going on in this moment in my life. WHY do I want to be thin?” Eventually clients find that the lack of food or excess means something greater than their feeling at the moment.

 

After living in the NOW is used daily to combat eating disorder thoughts in can also be used to help clients discover who they really are. Many clients come in to Eating Disorder treatment

and discover that they are a completely different person than they thought they were. Sometimes they have a new favorite color or favorite band, some even dabble with the thought of a new occupation. It’s the act of being still, listening to their inner dialogue that they are able to discover themselves and heal.

 

Staying in the NOW allows an Eating Disorder patient

to be mindful of her feelings. To center herself and find what kind of role she want to play in the world she lives in.

 

xoxo Irvina

Mar 29, 2010

Hunger and Treatment is a Family Affair by Dr.Michele Lob

by victorian — last modified Mar 29, 2010 05:20 PM

Eating disorder treatment affects the whole family and needs to be addressed at the family level to maximize the efficacy of a treatment program.

When family members bring their loved ones to treatment for substance abuse and eating disorder issues, the hopeful anticipation is that at discharge, they will be ‘fixed’. Despite the fact that my magic wand holds a special place in my office, it seldom works the way family members want it to. Healing from substance abuse and eating disorder behaviors is a complex and complicated endeavor and requires more than simply work on the sufferer’s behalf. From my perspective, healing is a family affair revolving around the building of open and honest lines of communication. Getting to this point can be challenging and oftentimes the clinician has to overcome significant defenses inherent within the family system.

The goal of family healing is to subvert any notion of blame. Rather the intention is to move from self-absorption or self- flagellation to a place without guilt and shame – a place of openness focused on utilizing the past only for self-discovery and growth. The creation of substance abuse and eating disorder behaviors usually develops from multiple factors rather than one single cause. There is no need to expend time and energy on examining these factors ad infinitum. Most important is to begin with a willingness to create the open, honest lines of communication towards the development of new behaviors and discovery; a willingness to listen and tackle those issues in a significant enough way that allow for listening closely to the sufferer’s story.


Let’s examine what we know about the complexities of substance abuse and eating disorder behaviors. For the most part, these behaviors are utilized as coping mechanisms by the sufferer to act as numbing behaviors to separate them from ‘feeling states’. But if we look closely with open hearts and eyes, it soon becomes revealed that these behaviors when extreme, become a cry for help, a cry for attention by the sufferer.

There are many contributing factors to the rise of substance abuse and eating disorder behaviors. We live in a world where the media barrage of diet fads and obsessive attention to body image is excessive to say the least. We live in a world where family structures are dissipating which in turn leaves adolescents vulnerable to define their own acceptable sense of self. We live in a world where perfectionism is a common denominator between those who are born to believe they are capable and those who are not. Most importantly there are many exemplifying factors to consider such as stress, depression, socioeconomic positioning, and the list continues.


But let’s get to the bottom line here – the healing process is indeed a family affair.


My goal when working with families is to help understand each individuals’ fears surrounding the sufferer, and to help each person in the system become empowered by creating honest, trusting, and deep bonds with the other. This development is not an overnight process, nor does my ‘magic wand’ help in the endeavor. Rather it is a slow, pedantic process requiring an open heart, mind, and most importantly, the willingness to be vulnerable, introspective, and supportive in a healthy way to the sufferer. I firmly believe that if these elements are in place, magic can happen in the healing process.


The most significant factor of all is that the identified sufferer gleans a new perspective on life as do those in the family system who come to the witness the metamorphosis. Oftentimes the metamorphosis is their very own.

 

 

 

 

Dr. Michele Lob PsyD MFT has a private practice working with families and children in Newport Beach.

 
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