Where did all the Mommy's Go?

One of my favorite stories to tell is one I heard at a 12 Step Meeting of Overeaters Anonymous. A woman who has suffered greatly from Bulimia and Compulsive Overeating made a pact with her daughter-in-law to do everything they could to prevent an Eating Disorder in this woman’s grand daughter, Stella. Eating Disorders are a genetic disorder, like alcoholism they can be passed down from generation to generation. The daughter was on board to prevent Stella from an Eating Disorder; so from the day Stella was born her mother always told her, “Stella you’ve got a great body!” Fast forward and Stella is 5 years old, she is playing with a little boy in her neighborhood. The boy tells her, “Stella you’re ugly! You need some makeup!” Stella response was priceless… she said, “First of all, I’m very pretty. Second of all I’VE GOT A GREAT BODY!”

Can you imagine? A 5 year old sticking up for herself? Not doubting her physical worth? I think it’s partly an amazing story because you just don’t hear stories like this. It’s more common to hear stories about little girls coming home in tears that someone called them fat. What was it that happened for Stella that this little boy couldn’t shake her up? Why was she so strong and sturdy in her self worth?  I believe it’s because she was repeatedly fed confidence and strength in exactly who she is each and every day for the past 1825 days of her life.

So what are the rest of the little girls in our society feasting on? Well we have anorexic Barbie’s, glossy celebrity magazines and Disney films with ONE princess and coincidentally no mommy. This void of mommy’s in Disney movies only became apparent to me recently. But if you think about it, Cinderella’s mother was dead, Jasmine’s mother was dead, The Little Mermaids mother was dead, Belle’s mother was dead, Snow White’s mother was dead and  Sleeping Beauty’s mother sent her to the forest with some granny fairies. So the message we get from these stories absent of a mother is that in order to be a shiny beautiful princess you have to figure out the lessons of life on your own with your colorful animal friends.

But, does that work in real life? No.

So where did all the mommy’s go? Apparently here they are dead. That’s one thing, but what about the rest of the mommies on this earth who have daughters with Eating Disorders where are they? Are they telling their daughter that she is beautiful in body, mind and spirit? That she deserves to be respected and valued for simply existing, outside of her good looks and good grades? I’m not sure they are because we have 7 million women in America with Eating Disorders. Yes, Eating Disorders are genetic, but they are also somewhat preventable. Preventable by you and me.

I would like to request a “Resurrection of the mommies!” If you are a woman in any young girls life, whether you be a sister, aunt, nanny, teacher, soccer coach or dance instructor it’s your job to tell the little princesses in your life, “I think you are a beautiful, strong and amazing young woman. You have a great body and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!”

Society can be messed up and it can create messed up kids. But as human beings we have a choice on which way we choose to go. WE can either build strong women like Stella or create juvenile princesses with no purpose but entertainment value. The choice is all of ours.