What is ED Recovery?
Most women with eating disorders, especially in the beginning, resist treatment and behavior change.
Women who struggle with eating disorders cling to the illusion that if they just lose enough weight, they will feel good about themselves, improve their lives, and enjoy self-confidence and success.
After a while, however, they begin to understand that the supposed benefits of thinness are only an illusion that will never bring them happiness. Starving, stuffing, purging, and other self-destructive behaviors will never lead to peace and a meaningful life. When people get to this point, and when they begin to look for better ways to build meaningful lives, recovery becomes a real possibility.
Unfortunately, even then there are challenges and obstacles to progress. Between 20 and 30 percent of women who enter treatment drop out too soon and relapse. Even those who stick with it usually have slips and lapses, leaving them discouraged, demoralized and feeling like failures. Wanting a quick and easy solution to their problems, they too often give up when they find that recovery can take many months to several years of hard work before they are free of their destructive behaviors and in control of their lives.
Recovery requires major commitments to (1) get into treatment, (2) stay in treatment, (3) make necessary lifestyle changes, and (4) resolve the underlying psychological and emotional issues that led to starving, binge eating, and/or purging in the first place.
Is recovery possible?
Yes, eating disorders are treatable, and lots of people recover from them. Recovery, however, as noted above, is a difficult process that can take seven to ten years or even longer. Some people do better than others and make faster progress. The folks who do best, work with physicians and counselors who help them resolve both the medical and psychological issues that contribute to, or result from, disordered eating. (International Journal of Eating Disorders, 1997; 22:339 and Eating Disorders, 2000; 8:189)
About 80 percent of people with eating disorders who seek treatment either recover completely or make significant progress. Sadly, the rest remain chronic sufferers or they die.
What is recovery?
Recovery is much more than the abandonment of starving and stuffing.
At minimum it includes the following:
- Maintenance of normal or near-normal weight
- In women, regular menstrual periods (not triggered by medication)
- A varied diet of normal foods (not just low-cal, non-fat, non-sugar items)
- Elimination or major reduction of irrational food fears
- Age appropriate relationships with family members
- Awareness of cultural demands for unrealistic thinness and effective ways of repudiating those demands
- One or more mutually satisfying friendships with healthy, normal people. Such friendships involve mutual give-and-take and a minimum of caretaking and "parenting" behavior.
- Age-appropriate interest and participation in romantic relationships
- Strong repertoire of problem-solving skills
- Fun activities that have nothing to do with food, weight, or appearance
- Understanding of the process of choices and consequences
- Person has a sense of self, plus goals and a realistic plan for achieving them. Is moving towards building a meaningful, fulfilling, and satisfying life.
- Person has also learned to be kind to self and others, forsaking perfectionism and confronting flaws and disorder with grace and understanding. Person refuses to drive her/himself with criticism and demands for unrealistic performance.
How long does it take to recover?
A few people who refuse professional treatment do eventually recover, but it may take several years or even decades. Most make little or no progress without help. Up to 20 percent do not survive.
People who do get into treatment, and stick with it, in general do much better. About half recover completely. Another 25 percent make significant progress. Unfortunately, the last 25 percent remain chronic sufferers, even with treatment, and a few die from consequences of their disordered behaviors.
With treatment, a few people recover in a year or less. For the vast majority, though, treatment and the recovery process take three to seven years, and in some cases even longer. Recovery takes however long it takes. For most people, changing entrenched food behaviors and resolving the issues that underlie them is a formidable challenge, perhaps the greatest challenge they will ever face.
Where to find help
Finding a counselor, physician, and treatment team that you trust, and with whom you can work effectively, is an important part of the recovery process. Here are some tips to get you started.
If you are in crisis, call 9-1-1 or a crisis hot line. (Find the number in the yellow pages under "Crisis Intervention.") If it is safe to do so, go to a hospital emergency room and tell the staff what's going on. Be truthful. They are not mind readers.
If you are not in crisis, ask your family doctor for an evaluation and referral to a counselor. Don't let embarrassment stop you from telling the physician all the details. Doctors, nurses, and counselors have heard the eating disorder story many times before.
You can also ask people you trust, and who have been in your situation, for the names of physicians and counselors they found helpful.
If you are a student, check with the school counseling center. Services may be low cost or free.
If your income is limited, or if your insurance will not cover treatment for eating disorders, look for community service agencies in the "Counselors" section of the yellow pages. The organizations listed there may not provide formal eating disorders programs, but they do offer basic assistance to people who have few other options.
If you believe your insurance company is declining payment of a legitimate claim for eating disorders treatment, you may want to speak with an attorney. Sometimes insurance companies are open to negotiation, but unless you know how to do this, we recommend you let an attorney handle it for you. These discussions do not always lead to payment of claims, but some families have had success with them.
Questions to ask a counselor before you begin working with him/her
Your therapist or counselor will, in a sense, be your employee. You, or your insurance company, are paying him or her, so you might as well shop around for a good fit. If you want to work with someone who is warm and understanding, don't pick a person who works primarily in a corporate setting in problem-solving mode. Likewise, if you are ready for an action plan, you may not want a counselor who spends a lot of time examining feelings and emotions. The following are just some of the questions you can ask your potential "employee."
- What is your treatment approach?
- What can I expect to happen during sessions?
- How much experience have you had working with people who have eating disorders?
- What are your training, education, and licenses?
- How long do you think treatment will take?
- How often will we meet?
- If I think I need to, can I call you between sessions?
- What are your thoughts about using medications in the treatment of eating disorders?
- Could I be put in a hospital against my will? (This is a common fear. Get the facts at the beginning so you will know what to expect.)
- How much do sessions cost? Do you take insurance? What if my insurance will not cover all the costs of treatment?
- If I don't think I'm improving fast enough, I may feel like either you or I am failing. What can I do if that happens? (Be sure to ask this one. Don't just drop out if you get discouraged. Overcoming "stuckness" in treatment is a major victory.)
The goal of recovery: a healthy, authentic human being
People often begin an eating disorder by dieting, thinking that if they lose weight, they will become self-confident and feel better about themselves. But it doesn't work that way. Becoming a worthy person takes a lot of hard work, including building a history of meaningful achievements and successful problem solving. Becoming authentic is never achieved by taking unhealthy shortcuts that lead to poor health, ruined relationships, depression, obsession, anxiety, guilt, and self-loathing.
Authentic human beings may be attractive -- there is no law that says they have to be ugly, but physical attributes are their least important qualities. Authentic human beings make a lasting impact, quietly or dramatically, on people they meet. They have personal presence. They are solid, intelligent, humorous, sexy and full of life. They are reliable, strong, confident and competent. They are respected, and they respect themselves. This is the goal of treatment – not just to eat normally, important as that is, but also to develop into a person of worth and substance.
Please contact our eating disorder treatment center for more information.